Thoughts...

With it being Christmas time, it just has me thinking a lot about all of my grandparents, but this post is just about this lovely lady, right here. This is my Grandma Markosek (a.k.a. Grandma Shack). I have her Nativity set up ontop of my entertainment center. Every time I look up at it, I think about her. I think about how she NEVER missed a birthday, or big event. She lived far away in Monticello, UT, but she'd call every birthday or holiday that  she wasn't here. When I was younger, she'd come down here to live for the winter because Monticello is COLD and our winters ROCK! But, as she got older, it got harder and harder for her to travel, so she eventually stopped. I remember most of my childhood Summers, up at her house. We'd go up a week after school got out and come home one or two weeks before school started up again. I even remember being up there for Christmas one year. I was three or four. I don't remember a whole lot, other than playing in the snow in her yard and slipping on ice. Over and over again..After she died (about 15 years ago), of course it was devistating. We knew it could come.She  had cancer, but none of us knew it was as bad as it was. So, we knew it could come, but at the same time, we thought we'd had more time. We didn't know she was that sick. We were going to go up to UT and spend one last Summer with her, but instead, we went up to clean out her house. To get it ready to sell, or for whomever might decide to move in (family). It was so sad to be at her house without her being there. All of her stuff where she'd left it. Her DNR hanging on the fridge. So, so sad. She was such an amazing Grandma! I miss her so much. She was so loving and compassionate. I remember the day they opened the Temple in Monticello. If you've ever seen it, it looks like a semi-big house. She was so excited she got called to be a Temple worker. She was the cutest lady! After she died, for years I'd have dreams. It'd always be my birthday, or Christmas. She'd call and I'd start sobbing. I could hear her voice so clear. I'd always say the same thing, "Grandma, how are you calling me?" and she'd always say the same thing. "I just wanted to take time out of my busy day and wish you a happy birthday. I love you and miss you, but I have to go now." And I'd just cry and cry and i'd wake up from a deep sleep sobbing, wondering if it was really just a dream. I miss her voice. I can still hear it in my head, even though she's been gone for so long. I can hear her whistle and sing, which she'd do when she'd cook or clean (she was the most amazing cook!). I always loved waking up to the sound of her whistling (and the smell of bacon!). Although, one Summer, we were up there. She made the same thing for breakfast every morning. Pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Lara and I got sick of eating the same thing, so one Sunday morning, while she was at church, we walked over to the store and bought cold cereal. We felt so bad because we completely offended her. She was so heart broken and didn't understand why we didn't just tell her that we wanted her to make us something else. She went the rest of the Summer without making us any breakfast. We felt terriible, and I still do.

Funny story, though. Grandma's house was haunted. I know a lot of people don't believe in that sort of stuff, but I do. Weird stuff happened all the time. You'd hear people walking around the house when you were home alone, you'd see stuff out of the corner of your eye. Just "normal" stuff. I don't know if it was him, but Grandpa Markosek had died in the house, like 20 something years before. He'd dropped dead of a heart attack in the master bedroom. Grandma never slept in there again after he died. She spent years sleeping on the living room couch. I'd known that Grandpa had died in the bedroom for as long as I can remember. For some reason, Nadja didn't know that. When she was up there for her funeral dad said "hey, how 'bout you sleep in grandma's room, and I'll sleep in the den." Lol. She'd wake up to hearing "somebody" walking around the room. She'd see shadows. She'd get really freaked out! She'd decided to tell dad about what was going on and he was like "Why do you think I offered that room to you? Grandpa died in there..." She called me at home and I laughed and laughed! I  couldn't believe she didn't know this! So funny! Anyhoo. I sure miss Grandma Shack. She was seriously such an example to me! I can't wait to get to see her again (someday in the far future...).

Halloween!! (Boo!!)

Uncle Bob came down for a short visit! My kids LOVE uncle Bob! Elyse just cuddled up on his lap..

Most of the kids making sure Bob  got a good workout!

Doodles was a knight! It took Danny all day to construct this of old tupper wear storage bins!

Alex was a death worrior! Isn't he so scary?!

 

Jonathon, the monkey! This costume has been around for a while!

Last, but not least, Elyse the lady bug! She did NOT wear her wings that took me most of the day to make... It's all good, tho! I had fun even though I burnt my finger really bad with a hot glue gun..

Anybody who knows me knows how much I love Halloween! A lot of people can't wait for Halloween to be over so the "Holiday Season" can start, but for me, it starts Oct. 1st! Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday. Christmas is a very close second, tho. This year Danny did not have to work, which was nice! It was the first year he didn't work in a long time!! We both worked most of the day on the kids' costumes. I blasted Halloween music, and even sang (probably badly and out of tune!). The kids watched Halloween movies like "Casper", "Hocus Pocus", "The Adams Family", "The Adams Family Values", you get the idea.. The kids are much like me when it comes to Halloween. They LOVE it! I fed the kids an early dinner, then I got in my costume (oye ve..) and off we went to score some candy!! This year, Danny picked me out my costume. Usually when I'm with him I let him know what is slutty or inappropriate. This year, my costume was both! I wore leggings and a long sleeved shirt underneath to cover up the sluttiness. The costume was so cute, but something I would never have chosen for me to wear. I did get some classic looks from people, tho! I was holding Elyse's candy bucket and you'd be surprised by the amounts of people who would NOT give me candy.. Whatevs.. I did get a little embarassed running into people I know. If I didn't say "hi" to you, I'm sorry. Danny is FIRED from choosing me costumes! 

We took the kids to three neighborhoods to fill up on candy. We got home around 9, 9:30 then sent the kids to bed. I always like watching scary movies on Halloween night. I like super scary ones! We usually watch "The Exorcist", but this year we watched "The Possession of Michael King". It was pretty creepy! 

Now, I'm ready for Thanksgiving!! I can't wait for some yummy food and some family time!

Horrible People..

Hi, my name is Andrea Bradford. I'm extremely shy, and for the most part, I keep to myself.. I've never been bullied as a child or teenager. Of course there were some people who didn't like me, some, the feelings were mutual. I'm sure some people said mean things behind my back, that's okay. I never let it get me down. I went to school for school. I didn't care about being popular, and popular, I was not. I'd rather be unnoticed than have everybody look my way. I had a couple really good friends, that I loved, and still love today. They are my family.
Last Friday, I did what I do every weekday. I get up, get lunches made, wake the boys up, make breakfast, get everybody ready for the day, and walk the boys to the bus stop. I always take the little ones in my double stroller. It is old and heavy, but my double jogger does not hold air in the tires. I walked all four kids to the bus stop and talked to one of the neighbors who has two little ones. One of which rides the bus with my kids. When the kids left, I too, left. I grabbed the stroller and pushed it onto the road, because it is so much easier than trying to push it thru sand and gravel. I get home and start to get myself ready for the day. I hear somebody knock and Jonathon opens the door. I run out to see who it is, and it's one of my neighbors. This lady must start drinking right when she wakes up, but that's beside the point. She see's me and asks if she can 'talk to my dad' I probably look at her like she's an idiot. I just said, "um, he's not here?". She then says, "I just need to talk to an adult." I again, give her a "you idiot" look and said "I am the adult in the house...". She then took it upon herself to tell me how horrible I am. This lady was NOT nice! I was in tears. She kept telling me that my personality sucked, and I needed to change it. She told me how nice my husband was to her and I was a bitch. I just stood there and cried. I honestly didn't know what to say or do. I just stood there and cried. The crap she said was so brutal. This was somebody who didn't even know my name. She just knows we're neighbors, so we should be BFF's.  She stood on my porch for 20 min. telling me how bad I was and that "she'd had it up to here" with me, and that I really needed to change my personality because "You know how you are..". This lady TOTALLY crushed me! I cried for two hours after she left. So, for those who think you know somebody (or me) you don't. You don't know me unless you really know me. There are only a few people who really do know me. I don't let my guard down unless I really feel comfortable with somebody, and that can take a while. All I know, is I've never been a confident person, but now... I feel so horribly about me. I just can't shake it.

Elyse (a.k.a.Pookie Bear)

Elyse just started crawling on all fours about three weeks ago. I know it's way late! She was 17 months old. It's so crazy to me that she was this old... I really thought she'd just skip the whole crawling stage all together, but she didn't. She just did it a lot later than "normal". She also pulled herself up to standing all on her own today! I was pretty excited! I know she's a completely healthy baby. She was born three weeks early, which is full term. She was born early because the placenta that was supposed to be delivering food and oxygen to her, had died. If left in my belly to cook much longer than she was, she too, would've died. I have no idea if the condition of the placenta has anything to do with her setbacks, but, it'd make sense to me if it did. The things she can do, tho is pretty amazing! She has a pretty extensive vocabulary for only being 18 months old. No, she isn't talking in sentences, but she learns a new word every other day. She tries to mimic EVERYTHING I say. Even sentences. She'll say one of the words I say then a bunch of jibber jabber. Here are some of the words she says- doggy "goggy" she knows the doggy says "arf arf" and she says "arf arf". She says- go, no, blankie (gankie), meow (we don't have any cats because Alex is allergic, but we have friends with cats), nigh nigh, num num, girl, pretty, tickle, momma, dadda, ball (baow), PEEWHEW!,
Yay!!, poo, yeah, hello, hi, shoe (soo), Bye bye. These are just the words I can think of. She can pick out one word out of every sentence I say and repeat it. (It's a good thing I don't swear!). Obviously she can self feed. (she's been able to for a long time..). She can grab with her index finger and thumb (again something she's been doing for a while..). She into EVERYTHING! If she can get to it, she will! She adores her older brothers! She follows them EVERYWHERE!! Alex is the only one annoyed by this! Cam is pretty patient with her, and Jonny? He just adores her back! Not to say that Alex and Cam don't adore her, but they're older and they get annoyed. She is still a huge momma's girl! Daddy is also one of her favorites, and her cousins! She loves her cousins! The older ones carry her everywhere she wants to go, so she's quite spoiled! The younger cousins make a huge fuss over her, which she LOVES! Poor child is starving for attention, haha. Okay, so she's not. But, you'd think she was..There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank Heavenly Father for her (and all my boys). I truly am blessed. :)

I know, I know I've already posted about Robin Williams, but seriously, I've never been so affected by a celebrities death before. Not to say that I usually don't care, because that's not true, but I've never been so sad to see somebody I have never met pass away. Usually I'm just like, "oh that's sad." and move on. I did cry when George Harrison died, tho!
Robin Williams was just.... Such a good guy! I've been watching his movies my whole life! I kinda feel like my grandpa, or father just died. I guess it's a bit silly.. He really was one kind. I know I'm going to miss his work. I've been sharing his greatness with my kids. They LOVE "Hook!" ,  They love to run around the house yelling "Rufio, Rufio, Rufiooooooooooooooo!!!" So funny.. They also love "Aladin",  but who wouldn't?? I have been so sad, and seeing all the tributes all over Facebook and Twitter, they just make me sad all over again. I've read them all!! So sad...

Robin Williams

Yesterday was a sad, sad day... Actor Robin Wlliams passed away. The saddest part?- he committed suicide. You would've  never think of him as a depressed person. He was a comedian! Most of his movies were fun and uplifting. He did so much good for our troops overseas. My favorite movies of his were/are- "Flubber", "Hook", "Jumanji", "What Dreams May Come","Night at the Museum"  and "Mrs. Doubtfire". I'm sure there are more that I've loved, I just can't think of them. It makes me so sad to think that he was so sad. I see posts from people like "it wasn't depression that killed him, he killed himself". I guess if you look at it literally, he did, but I also think that's a very insensitive way of putting it.  I know not everybody goes thru derpession, so they can't understand what somebody who is depressed is feeling. After Cam was born I went thru post partum depression. I never wanted to harm myself of my children, but I remember laying in bed wondering "if I died tonight would anybody other than my newborn and two year old notice?". It's completely unfair to Danny that I had such thoughts, but I did. Often... I didn't feel anything but sadness. Something that was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life, and I was sad. I can't imagine how Mr. Williams must have felt. Feeling like his life wasn't worth anything. Feeling like nobody would care, or nobody would miss him. Depression is debilitating. It makes you feel worthless. It makes you think you're useless. It makes you feel unimportant. One thing that I hear people say is, "why dodn't you just get happy? Why don't you just make yourself happy?" Do you really think it is that easy??!! Depression is a medical condition. It's not like a cold that just goes away on its own. With that being said, Robin, you made the world a better place. We're short one less incredible man. May you rest in peace and feel Gods arms around you.

 

The Fourth of July

This year was the first in two years that Danny didn't have to work. He worked the night of the third, so he slept most of the day. We were invited to my cousins house, but we didn't make it. I wasn't going to brave all four of my kids in a big pool alone, where they could drown! We also got invited to some friends house for a BBQ and some swimming. Danny and I decided it would be fun and the kids would love it! They did love it, mostly.. Cam was sure he was going to drown! We had fun! We came home so Elyse could take a little nap before we headed to the fair grounds. At about 8:30 we headed to the fair grounds to see the fireworks. I was worried about Jonny and Elyse being cranky (because it was past their bed times) and afraid of the fireworks. They were niether! They were so happy, and good, and they loved the fireworks! I put Elyse to bed as soon as we got home. We took the boys outside to light the fireworks Danny had bought from the Indian Reservation. The sparklers didn't last as long as we remembered them lasting when we were little. The big fireworks were pretty cool, though! Danny didn't realize they were the ones that shot up into the air! There was a small incedent where the firework pack tiped over. We started a tiny fire in our weeds (Ooops!) We had our hose ready for any reason we may have needed it, and we did! We put the fire out and shot off the rest of the fireworks, then we sent the boys to bed. In Alex's words, that night "was EPIC!" Danny and I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning, talking and watching "Supernatural". I love our 1:00 a.m. coversations! They are my favorite :). We are both usually really tired and goofy. I especially get super silly when I'm tired. Danny likes to laugh at my craziness. It is when I have my best thoughts, after all! I love any holiday that we actually get to spend together! When Danny has to work, it kind of puts a damper on things, but, I am very greatful for all that he does! He works his tail off, so we can have food in our bellies, a roof over our heads, running cars, and the clothes on our backs! I really can't complain too much. Life is good..

Total Randomness

Photo cred- Pinterest

I LOVE looking at these abandoned beauties. Here in Logandale/ Overton, there are only two homes that I can think of. One of them being down on Rice Road. I've always loved to drive by and check it out, and another house, I call it the Blue Beauty. It is across the street from Ace Hardware, next to the old Hospital, wich was also once a cool "abandoned" place. It's been fixed up in the recent years, tho. The Blue Beauty was moved down here from St. Thomas, one of the homes they were able to save from getting drowned by the lake. It is beautiful and everytime I drive by, I think of what it would look like if someody were to fix it up (that I'd love to be the person to do so.), and of all the stories it could tell if it could speak! I love to hear old stories and when I see these old abandoned beauties, even the non-abandoned beauties. Homes that are 100+ years old! The happy times, the tragedy, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I LOVE these stories! Some of them are horrific, tales of murder, torture, and abuse. Some are so sad. Rarely, you'll hear about the really happy stuff. The stories are usually of a young lady, who falls in love with a solder, who leaves for war and never makes it home, and the young lady so depressed, poisons herself. So sad!! For some reason, these stories always end up with somebody poisoning somebody. I just LOVE old stories. It makes me wonder what kind of tortured people lived in these homes. I'd love it if walls could talk! That is all...

This Week of Summer!

A couple days ago I decided I was done with diapers for Jonny. I'd tried to potty train him a few weeks ago, but he wanted nothing to do with it! Then, he got diarrhea. There was no way I way I was going to scrub that out of the floor, furniture, or clothing! So, I decided we'd try again when he was feeling better, and feeling more up to it!  He just decided he was ready! I put his little potty toilet where he can get to it easily, and he runs around naked all day (gross, I know, but! It works best with my boys..). When he needs to go, he runs to the toilet, and goes. So far he's loving it! Every time he goes I sing for him. Have you seen "The Lego Movie"? Know the song "Everything Is Awesome"? I changed the words to "Jonny Cakes is awesome! Cause he goes potty in the big boy toilet". He LOVES it, and gets him excited EVERY TIME! I'm so proud of him! He's done great! I'm hoping he'll be out of diapers %100 by Fall, but I'm not going to get too excited yet. I kow how  potty training can flip a switch, when they decide they're tired of it and start going in their pants again. Hopefully he doesn't, but he'd be my first to NOT!

Elyse is starting her terrible two's. She is only 15 months old. I get tired of her temper tantrums. She really is such a sweet little girl, and I love her so much, but there are days I'd like to put her out on the curb with a sign "free to a good home". There are days I'd put her brothers out there with her. I don't know what it is about Summer that makes me cranky, and short tempered. It's probably the heat and our crappily insulated house. Not only is it hot outside, it's hot in the house, and the a.c. runs and runs. The a.c. can only keep up if the temp stays under 100*. Any hotter and it just works so hard. If it get's over 105* it gets around 83. The hotter it gets outside, the hotter it gets inside. We hope to fix the insulation soon. It just takes money we don't have. I did put tin foil on the back windows and it keeps the sun from cooking us thru the back all Summer. It hasn't gotten as hot as the last two years, and our house cools off faster after the sun goes down. 

We have enjoyed sleeping in this summer, We're rarely all up before 8:30. None of us like mornings. I miss our big pool that we only got one Summer out of, before the wind bent it in half. It kept us all happy and cool last Summer. All we have this year is a little kiddie pool. I hate public pools. That many kids swimming around makes me really nervous. 

I really wish I could post more pics here on my blog. We got a brand new computer for Christmas and about a month after we got it, Danny tried to download something that had what I think malwear, and we've not been able to get online since. We have been paying $20.00 a month for something we can't use. I find it frustrating.. I have an Apple Ipad, Droid phone, and Dell computer. Most of my pics are on my phone, and I can't get them onto the Ipad, which is where I blog from. I rarely take pics on my Ipad, so that's just that. I will get my computer fixed, I will download photos. I will post pics, becuase my blog is more of a journal of my feelings and my kids' childhood, which is quickly passing by! I like pictures. I like to look at pictures! Someday things will be working again...

Summertime!

I got Elyse a new amber teething necklace becuase the claspe on her last one broke. It seems to actually really help. Which is good!

Elyse got some new yellow jelly flip flops. She really LOVES them! She has super tiny feet and wears a 2! For those who don't know, that's typically 3-6 moths... The smallest size shoes we were able to find was a 3. Thank goodness they ran smaller! They will fit her though out the Fall, which is perfect!

Doodles got new flip flops (yes they are on the wrong feet..)! He loves them and says they make him run super fast!

Jonny did not get new flip flops. He already has a nice pair that are in really good condition, and they still fit him!

Alex also got a new pair of flip flops! It's so nice to not have to deal with shoes durig the summer!

So far this Summer has been pretty uneventful... I've written up a daily chore list that consists of "school" work and "helping" mom clean. They'll get better at doing it, eventually haha! Alex has had a bit of and attitude this Summer. He got in big trouble the other day, so he's been doing better. I don't know why he was being so hornery.. I tried to get to the bottom of it, but he's been doing better. I understad kids have bad days, and I'm completely understanding when it comes to that. It was everyday! He's good now. Alex loves having chores. He loves vacuuing and dusting. He just loses intrest pretty quickly.. Doodles isn't so eager to do his chores... He'd rather NOT! 

Alexis a little sneaky sneak!! I have to watch him! He is always trying to get into something.. He is a very sweet boy, though! He does not always like to help mom and usually gets in trouble once a day! He loves to run and catch bees and wasps. I keep telling him he's crazy and WILL get stug one of these days. He still thinnks they are fascinating...  

Doodles has turned into such a sweet boy! He isn't nearly as stubborn as he used to be. He loves to help in any way he can, as long as he doesn't have to clean, and even then. He does it, he just complains while doing it!

Jonny doesn't like to talk.. He loves playing Angry Birds on my Ipad!! I think he's a little obsessed.. He is so sweet. He thinks it's hillarious to steal my seat on the couch. He'll try to take it while I'm still sitting in it, the little stinker! He thinks he's pretty funny, tho. That's all that matters, right?

Elyse is cutting all types of teeth right now! Two molars and recently the rest of her front teeth. She was a late teether. She didn't get her first tooth until she was 10 months old. She is now pushing herself up to sitting from laying on the ground. She does NOT like to stand, but I make her. This girl does NOT want to walk! She honestly has no desire... She doesn't crawl. She rolls or scoots around on her butt. It is strange to have a non-crawler, but it's good!

     Summer break is going good! The kids are getting along pretty well, so far. I've kept them entertained, whether it be swimming in the kiddie pool in the back yard, watering the grass, jumping on the trampoline, playing in the club house that is not quite finished yet, but they love running up and down the stairs! They play with cousins once a  week, play on their tablet, dig "massive" holes in the back yard, and catch bugs!

 Cousins Devri and Lucie came down the other week, for Devri's 7th birthday. The kids had fun playing with them, since we only see them once a year!

I'm getting anxious to see who Alex and Cam will have as teachers next year! I still can't believe that I'll have two in school! I'm so over Summer heat and ready for Fall cool down! Only a few months to go... That's what I keep telling myself!

Doodles Graduated from Preschool and Alex Completed First Grade!

Cam had preschool graduation a couple weeks ago!! It was quite the chore, getting him to put on his cap and gown!! According to him, all the boys looked like girls, and he didn't want to look like a girl!! I some how convinced him to put on his gown and his teacher got him to put on his cap. Once he walked into the room, he was fine and no longer throwing a temper tantrum! He is so stubborn...  Preschool has been so good for him!! I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to him starting kindergarten in the Fall, tho.. Having two kids in school is kind of giving me some anxiety!!

Today was Alex's last day of first grade!! It has been hard keeping him engaged this last trimester! Getting him to do homework. Just trying to keep him wanting to pay attention!! He is a very smart boy and catches on quickly, so hopefully things are good! His report card is good, but Mrs. Barlow noticed that he'd lost his ambition a little. Today was a good day, tho!! We got up and I got Alex to the bus for the last time this school year! After the other three kids ate breakfast we hurried and got ready to go to Bobby's fifth grade gradutation! I can't believe that he'll be in sixth grade next year!!! Right after his graduation I ran next door to the school to drop off Mrs. Barlow's end of the year present. When I walked into his class room, he ran up to me and threw his arms around my waist, like he always does! He wouldn't let go this time! I barely was able to pry him off me long enough to get a pic with Mrs. Barlow!! Mrs. Barlow told me that I could just take him with me, because it was close to the end of the day. I took him with me and we left! I took him to McDonalds to "celebrate" his last day! Then, we went to Aunt Noni's house to swim! The kids had a great time swiming! They swam until Elyse started to get fussy. All in all, it was a good time!! Cheers to Summer break... I'm not sure if I'm excited or not!

Elyse Post

Just a quick post about Elyse! Things Elyse does.. She says a few "real" words. She calls me momma. She says dadda, baba, YEAH, and she says num num. It's adorable when she says num num because she associates it with food. So, when she is eating she sits there and says num num over and over again. She claps her hands and waves bye bye, only getting her to wave is impossible at times. She has discovered how to throw a real temper tantrum!! I mean, she flings herself back, stiffens up like a board, kicks her legs, and makes tight fists while screaming! She is adorable, but her tantrums ARE NOT! Gotta love this age... She does not crawl, or walk, or stand... She flat out refuses to. I've been meaning to take her to the doctor for these issues. She is almost 14 months old and just rolls around on the floor and sits. I'm not sure if it's a delay,  or if it's because she is plain ol' STUBBORN! It could be both, I don't know, but it is something that I feel needs to be addressed. I just completely HATE taking my kids to the doctor. We are so behind on shots, my baby is still like a seven month old. I need to go in! It feels so wierd that Elyse isn't into everything yet. I'm not complaing, but it's weird to me. She is such a sweet little girl! Is it creepy that I love watching her sleep when I can't? It's not just her, I did it with all the boy's, too. She's just the only one I can see thanks to video monitors :) I am thankful everyday that I was blessed with the best sons and daughter in the whole world! 

Popularity Brings Contempt

I've never been one to have tons of friends. I have always been anything but popular, and I'm okay with that, but lately something has been bugging me. I've always been quiet and kept to myself, and you'd be surprised by how many people do not like this! People don't like quiet people. I used to be cool with this. I always said that if they didn't like me, it was fine because I don't need them, and that I didn't like them either. I guess just lies I told myself to make myself feel better.. I've missed my best girl friend, Ciara so mauch lately. I love my hubby, and I LOVE hanging out with him, but I miss my Ciara. I really miss having a friend who doesn't judge you no matter how retarded you really are. She was always next to me being a retard right along with me. Right now I have my sisters.... That's about it. I love my sisters. I love hanging out with them. They are fun to be with! I feel like my life is missing more friends. Now that my kids have their little friends, I want to be friends with their parents. In all honesty, they don't like me. I just seem to repell people. Poor me, lol! Oh, what can you do? I am who I am, and that just doesn't sit well with people.

I Don't Care (and) Leave Me Alone..

Lol. So, this is my rant post about my weight. If this bugs you, move on... I know I'm far from obese, and I'm not really over weight, but, I'm the most I've ever weighed not being pregnant. I've been so unmotivated since Elyse was born. I've actually only lost a couple pounds since I had her, which is so, so sad... Usually after I have a baby I get right on a diet, do some type of exercising. I try to lose all the weight quickly, but this time has been different. I've been so lazy this time around. I don't know if it is because I'm now 30, or that I have four kids now, or that Danny's work schedule is completely weird! I'd like to go running, but I can't take all four kids with me and Danny is usually working or sleeping. I don't work out at home. I should but I find it so boring. If I'm bored, I lose interest. It's super sad, I know! I hate diets!! They only work if you stay on it. I have a LOVE LOVE relationship with carbs. I eat pasta almost everyday for dinner. I don't see myself giving them up EVER! I'm trying to come up with a healthy menu every day. Sometimes it's hard. Why is unhealthy so much tastier!   But, I have replaced breakfast and derssert with healthy protien smoothies. I usually have a bowl of ice cream every night after the kids go to bed, so the smoothie is a good thing! Oh Heaven help me, lol! So, I need to just go on a diet! I have a closet full of clothes that are too small. Blah! That is the end of this rant, though I'm mostly making fun of myself for being lazy and chubbby :/

Clark County Fair, Jonathon's third Birthday, and Spring Break

A whole lot has gone down in the past couple weeks! The week of the fair Alex went to the fair with his class on Thursday. I saw him around a few times and I felt really bad. I thought we were going to leave long before he did, so I had him stay with his class. Well, we were there longer than I thought we would be and I wasn't able to find him again to sign him out of school and let him stay with me. So, he came home on the bus. Friday was Jonathon's third birthday! He had cousins down from Utah and Texas, so they all celebrated with us by eating lunch, having an Easter egg hunt, and having cupcakes! When we left grandma and grandpa's house, Danny and Elyse took a nap. We went to the fair about 6:00! It was so nice and cool outside, not like the day before where it was hot and miserable! Alex, Cam, Jonny and i went on the Ferris wheel. Sitting at the top made Alex really nervous, Cam was just there, and Jonny LOVED IT!!! After the Ferris wheel we saw all the animals and displays. Elyse was loving being outside in the cool air! We were there until about 9:30, which is way past her bed time, but she loved it! Jonny did not so much... Saturday we went back to the fair to see the pig races. It's all Cam could talk about! He loved it so much! We also went to see a pirate show. We were all less than impressed. All of us except Cam, that is. He thought it was great! We didn't spend too much time there Saturday. It was hot and super crowded! Sunday we rested, doing nothing all day... Monday I let Alex and Cam stay up late to watch the blood moon eclipse! Cam only made it until 11:00, so he only saw the very beginning. Alex stayed up until 11:45, so he got ot see quite a bit, but he didn't get to see the blood part. He was bummed about that, but he saw a bunch of pictures. That was cool enough. I stayed up until 12:45, though. I kept peeking out my bedroom window to check it out! I did get to see the blood part which was pretty cool! There will be five more? blood moon eclipse's within the next 18 months, so he'll get to see one or more of them. On tues, we went to the Logandale park with cousins and friends. The kids had a blast! Cam and Alex had their first sleep over at Gandma Shacks house! They had SO much fun! They bug me everyday to do it again.. Wednesday was "Pizza Wednesday". It's our girls day where we go get pizza, sounds amazing, right? Well, it is! We decided that eating at the park with all our kids would be better than taking ALL of them to the restaurant. So, we ate pizza at the Overton park. Honestly, I dodn't even remember what we did Thursday and Friday... I think we hung out with cousins and stuff? Saturday I know we did nothing! It was nice just to chill.. Sunday was Easter Sunday. We went to church, and when we came home, Danny, Elyse, Jonny and I took a two hour nap. When we woke up we went to Grandma and Grandpa Bradford's house to do our Easter egg hunt. Our yard just really sucks... It was as fun and busy time! Do you ever feel like you need a vacation from your vacation? I guess I should say staycation, because we didn't go anywhere. I've had a really hard time getting back into the swing of things!  really just want to sleep in until 9! Yes, my kids also sleep until 9! We are not morning people around here.. I'm started to get excited for Summer.  I hate the heat, but I can't wait to play all day everyday for a couple months. Next year I'll have two kids in school, so it'll be weird. I feel like Summer is the last Hoorah, lol!

Elyse is One!!

I can't believe it's been a year since this little girl joined our family! She is such a sweet little girl! She loves everybody (tho she does have stranger danger issues). She is a total daddy's girl, but when she is hurt, scared, sick, or sleepy, she wants her momma! This day is so clear in my mind. One year ago, I was sitting in a hospital, waiting to be wheeled up to labor and delivery. Right in this very hour. I remember there being sick people EVERYWHERE and I was getting impatient! I did NOT want to catch whatever they had! I was about to have a baby!! We waited in the E.R. waiting area for about an  hour and a half because the nurse thought we'd left (I know, right??!). I guess we weren't in plain sight. I was staying away from all the illness, so I guess we were kind of hiding. I was wheeled up, got into my sexy hospital gown, started triage, got hooked up to monitors, got an IV then the nurse comes in and said Dr. S and Dr. M were there and ready! Waiting on me!! When does that ever happen??!! Then everything started happening fast! My phone was dead from all the phone calls and text messages i'd been making and receiving during the day. I got on my IPad and sent my sister a Facebook message to tell her it was happening A.S.A.P. so they should all hurry!! I got wheeled back to my O.R. and I was in there forever!! Dr. M and Dr. S were there the whole time, making me laugh my butt off! I got my anesthesia and about 20 min later, she was here! Tiny and cute, safe and sound. I later found out that she was born just in time to save her life. The placenta had died and she would've, too. This first year has been quite a trip! Long hospital stay because of a bladder infection at seven weeks old. Illness after illness.. This poor little girl is quite the little trooper!!! She is always so happy and rarely complains. Even when she's not feeling her best. Tonight we celebrate with pizza! As you can see, she quite fancies it!! Tomorrow when daddy is here we'll have a nice little shin-dig. Cake and ice cream!! Yum yum! I sure do love this sweet little Princess!!! She is so much fun!!

Doodles Is Five!!!

Cam turned five on Feb 27. I'm lame and am just getting to posting! I have pics, but they are on my camera, and I'm on my Ipad. He had preschool on his birthday, which made it easy for last minute shopping and cleaning for his party!! Two hours with only one kid running around! It makes it easier, trust me!! We had all the cousins, and grandparents come over. We sang happy birthday. We had cake and ice cream. It was a good time!! I am having a hard time with him being five! this means I will have TWO kids in school next year. This FREAKS me out!!! It means I only have two more kids before they are all in school! I'm sure there will be a time when I'm glad all my kids are in school, but for now, I can't wrap my head around that! I'm not cool with it! 

I sure do love my little Doodle Bug! He is such a sweet little boy, with such a strong personality! I'm one lucky momma to have such amazing kids!

Heavy on the Mind...

Danny has decided to apply for LVMPD!! He put in his application a week or so ago. It seems only natural. Everybody in his family is either a cop or in construction. Since building has pretty much come to a halt, he's been working at Lloist (Chem Lime) for the last two and a half years. He hates  his job!! He said he'll continue to work there if he doesn't get on with LVMPD. But, we're hoping for LVMPD!! With that being said.. One of my Facebook friends posted a video the other week. It was a cop in Florida, I think, who had stopped a truck. He had drugs pulled out of the truck one guy leaning against the truck, another still in the truck. The police officer told the guy who was standing outside of the truck to take off his jacket and put his hands back onto the truck. The guy kind of resisted, but started to take off his jacket. While this was happening, the guy still in the truck started to get out. The cop yelling for him to stay in the truck, the guy keeps coming. The officer draws his gun, and the guy starts shooting the officer in the chest, over and over again. Then the guy who was leaned against the car grabs his gun an starts shooting over and over again! The cop was probably shot around 30+ times.. All caught on his car-cam. I know this doesn't happen everyday, but it does happen!! It terrifies me!! After seeing this video, Danny becoming a cop and possibly getting shot to death has been heavy on my mind a lot lately. I've of course always had a just-in-case plan, but I do NOT like to think about the possibility of him passing away. We ARE supposed to grow old together, and die together like in "The Notebook" (haha cheesy, I know..) But, this is my plan! (I type with tears in my eyes...) The thought "what would I do?" comes to mind all the time. Who would take care of the kids and I? Who would watch the kids if I had to go work full time? How would I even face the day? How could I come home to an "empty" home everyday? Am I strong enough to get through something like that? So many things run through my mind... Being a cop, you could get killed! KILLED!! I know his job now has some risks, being a contractor has risks, but NONE of them are being SHOT! I freak out if he's a few minutes late getting home from work. I worry about him falling asleep and crashing his car. I worry everyday that he's not home. I worry too much! I guess that I just worry too much.... I also worry about what Danny would do if I died young. Who he'd remarry to. Would I approve of her raising my kids? Would she love my family as much as I do? Of course I'd have no say, but, hopefully he'd make the right decision!! Hopefully he'd find an amazing babysitter. And so on...  Anyways... I hate the subject of death. I've dealt with many deaths, but they're usually grandparents, aunts, uncles. A few cousins, but none recent. Friends. Friends of friends.. It all just sucks!! I just wanted to get this all out of my head! I don't like thinking about it. Hopefully it'll go away now that I've "written" it all down...

Alex is Seven!

Last Saturday, February 1, Alex turned seven!! He's had the "most epic two days!" (his words). Friday after he got home from school and Danny received a text from Alex's friends mom. (They're in our ward, she didn't have my number, our house phone is broken and is now a toy. Her husband had Danny's number. Just had to clarify...). His friend Brock wanted Alex to play over at his house. Alex was SO excited!! I dropped Alex off and he stayed for almost two hours, without me! Most parents are probably like, "So what? Big deal..." For Alex, this is a HUGE deal!! He's attached to me by the hip! He worries when I'm not around. It was AMAZING for him to play for a couple hours, at his friends house! I got a text from Marquessa (Brock's mom) saying that she was bringing Alex home because he told her he was ready. When she dropped Alex off we invited Marquessa and Brock over for cake and ice cream Saturday afternoon. We usually just have a small family get together. Our house is too small to hold a bunch of people. The cousins (on my side) were all here. Aunts and uncles were here. Sister from another mother was here with her kids. Last, but not least. Brock and Marquessa were here! It was fun. We had cake and ice cream. Stupid me didn't get enough balloons for every single child (ghasp!)  Lara's older three took a balloon, Brock took a balloon, and I had two. Needless to say, my kids fought over the balloons for three days (until the balloons lost air).  Note to self: buy enough balloons for EVERY SINGLE kid! Lesson learned. Alex opened his presents. Brock gave Alex art supplies! Alex's favorite thing in the world is to draw and write books! Grandma gave him $5!! I got him "Cloudy With a Chance of Meat Balls 2", Mine Craft (on his nabi), and Danny got him a "skate board". We have long hallways of laminate flooring in our house. I've had fun riding the "skate board" through our house.  Who says your too old to play with your kids' scooter? Not I!
We've watched "Cloudy With a Change of Meat Balls" only about 12 times this past week.. "Free Birds" is now out on dvd-blu ray. Guess what Cam's getting for his birthday??!!! It's in a few weeks, so that is what he gets! He can not wait for his birthday! He asked if Brock could come to his party, too. I told him if Brock can, he's invited! Gotta LOVE "birthday season!!" ! That's it for now. I'm so lucky to have my amazing, healthy kids! I love them all so much!

Everything and Stuff

This weekend (the  24th) Danny and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary (woohoo!!). We went to Mesquite and we saw "Lone Survivor", then after we went to dinner at The Panda Garden. Our waiter was terrible!! We went birthday shopping for Alex, then came home.
We've all been battling a terrible chest/sinus cold thingy... We've all had such terrible coughs!! It has not been fun! My nephew was diagnosed with influenza recently. It terrifies me! I do NOT want any of my kids to come down with it, but I'm super worried about Elyse, since she is only 10 months old. I HATE illness!!! I'd like to just keep my children in a plastic bubble this time of year. I know keeping them from all illness would do nothing for their immune systems, but it's frustrating for me!
Lice is going around the Elementary school. I got a letter stating that somebody in Alex's class had lice. They checked all the kids and said that they should continue to be checked for the next two weeks.  I'm not cool with lice.. If one kid gets it, it's a matter of time before the entire family and or school gets it. It's disgusting!! (no, Alex does not have it.)
Soon, our family "Birthday Season" will be in full force! You know how there's a holiday season that consists of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years? Well, we have "Birthday Season" it start's with Alex- on Feb. 1. then Cam- Feb. 27, then Elyse- March 13, then last but not least, Jonny- April 11. We really did try to spread them out, but it didn't end up that way. We are happy that we have all our little munchkins, even if their birthdays are super close to each other!! It gets expensive, being  a couple months after Christmas, but it's cool!
For today- we are ditching church.. We all still have coughs and runny noses. I think that the "sickness" part is over with, but our coughs and constant nose blowing is quite annoying!
Life has been pretty uneventful. Doing the day to day thing. Life is good!! I can't complain too much!

Happy New Year!!

2013 has brought us so much!! Our last baby, and first daughter was born. Pregnancy with her was interesting... Kidney stones, blood thinner shots, Rogham shots (with every pregnancy.), gestational diabetes... It was fun!! Ending up in the hospital when she was seven weeks old for a nasty bladder infection!! We found out she had VUR. I'm so over it... And, I swear. Everything that goes around, she catches!! All my kids do. It gets frustrating. I'm sick of having sick kids! Back to the good- Like I said. Sweet Elyse was born. Alex finished kindergarten and started the first grade. We are so lucky that both teachers were/are amazing!! Cam started preschool. He LOVES Mrs. Myrna and the "white" teacher (referring to her blonde hair). Jonathon refuses to nap in his room, so Elyse does. I pretty much let him sleep where he lays down for naps, I know I'm horrible. Jonathon is Mommy's good little helper! Elyse thinks she rules the house. She is little Queeny in the making! It doesn't help that she is completely spoiled! Danny got a promotion at work (forever ago) and is the Kiln assistant. I still don't know exactly what that entails, but he assists the kiln! LOL! Though he loves  his schedule, it's not my favorite.. He works four days, then three off. Work three days, then two off. Work three days, then three off. Work four days, then seven off. He gets two weekends off a month. It feels like I NEVER see him on his work days. As for me. I try my hardest to keep this house somewhat livable. My kids are slobs. It's hard when they are so young. Alex gets tired of doing everything. Cam is A.D.D. like his mother. He gets side tracked very easily. Jonathon will put something away, just to pick it up three seconds later to play with it. I'm convinced that he likes everything out where he can see it. Elyse is a baby, clean is not in her vocabulary. I'm sure my hubby gets tired of coming home to toys everywhere. I'm tired of it, too. I have tried to train my kids to keep their toys in their rooms. I have failed. I have not made any stupid resolutions this year. I never stick to them EVER! I just hope that I can become the person/mother/wife I strive to be. Although, I do hope that I can sleep train Elyse. She has been so spoiled up to this point. Hearing her or any of my babies cry, makes me nervous. When they get big, it doesn't bother me, but infants!! I can't stand it. She sleeps in Danny's and my room. It's the only place available, unless we put her in Jonny's room. Then they'd both cry all night. I want her sleeping better before I move her, but it's hard to let her cry when she's right next to your bed! I've sadly contemplated moving her crib into my closet, just so I wouldn't have to hear her cry. My mommy guilt kicks in and I pick her up. I know it only takes a couple days of crying before they just stop, but it's hard for me. I have visions of my babies dying. It'll happen. I will sleep all night again! I'm so thankful for everything that I have.  I am very lucky! I'm looking forward to, hopefully, an amazing year this year.