A Post All About Me!!!

It's all in the title. This post is all about me. Likes and dislikes. Hopes and dreams exedra exedra.... Where should I start?? How about dislikes, in no particular order, of course!!
How do I put this gently without sounding like a horrible person? I don't really like children! I know that's weird coming from somebody who has four of her own, but I just don't. I love my children including nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends children, but I often find myself wanting to smack other people's children. Maybe if these children's parents would occasionally spank their children, I wouldn't want to... My children are far from perfect (and yes I do believe in the occasional spanking), but these big attitudes get to me!! I hope I can teach my kids to be respectful, but to be honest, somedays they are anything but! I give permission to anybody to smack my kid if they are rude or disrespectful. Sometimes I wish Alex or any child still got spanked at school. Children were so much better behaved when there were sore tushies at steak! No, I don't believe in beating a child. There is a huge difference, so get off your high horse! I just believe in discipline, that's all.
I hate my neighbors! I see the cops over there way to often! They scream at each other outside and use very foul language, language that I don't want my children to pick up on. To be honest, i'd like to see them all carried away in handcuffs!!
I don't love our house. As a matter of fact, I don't really like it. We've fixed it up so it's nice enough. But, it is what it is.. So not our dream house, but it is a roof over our heads!
I hate cooking! I do it because I feel it's my duty as a wife and mother. I'm not that good at it, but the fam will eat it, so that's all that matters.
I swear I'm not a horrible person... Oh, one more dislike.. I hate my body!! I need to magically tighten my deflated belly and boobies! Cellulite, stretch marks, wrinkles, dimples, bumps.....Bla!! I'd change my smile, too, if I could...
Time for some redemption!
I love my family. I think I got pretty lucky in the whole family department. Yes we all drive each other crazy at times, but we go together well!!
I like to clean, even though you'd never tell by walking into my house! My kids have my house destroyed so fast, you'd think that I never ever cleaned. But, I do. I do everyday! It frustrates me that it doesn't stay that way more than five minutes, tops (think I'm kidding?). These days I'd rather snuggle Elyse than clean, though... I can't seam to put her down! I love cuddling with my newborns, because you blink and it's gone! They aren't newborns very long..
I love babies. Even strangers babies. They are all so sweet and innocent. No I don't go around stealing babies, though. I admire them from afar.
I LOVE, LOVE junk food!!! My ideal meal would consist of ice cream and chocolate bars. Probably why I hate my body so much, haha!
I love the smell of clean laundry, though I don't like washing it.
My hopes for my children is that they would grow up to be outstanding young adults/adults. I hope they grow up to be obedient, respectful, kind, loving, and amazing people. Let's hope we as parents don't screw them up!! I take parenting very seriously. Most days my children might drive me to drink, and then bedtime comes. Everyday we start fresh. Everything from the day before is in the past and we get through everyday, one day at a time. Being a stay at home mom is a hard job. Being a parent is hard. I try. That's all I can do. My children are not easy going, calm, or laid back. They are strong willed, stubborn, and have tempers. They can be exhausting. But, they are awesome!! With that being said.. Alex will be home soon, so I have to go outside to wait for his bus. Until next time :)

Due Date

Today is my due date with little miss. She will be three weeks old tomorrow!! I don't really know why, but it's just crazy to me! I had a scheduled c-section for last monday, the 25th.
i'm just so very thankful that she is here and healthy! She has been growing like crazy since she's been born!! She weighed 5lbs 2oz at birth. She only lost a couple oz before we left the hospital. At eight days old she weighed 5lbs 9oz.At 15 days old she weighed 6lbs 8oz, which was Cam's birth weight. It's amazing to me... She just had to be born so she could grow!! I'm guessing she's 7-7 1/2 lbs now. The girl can eat!!!
Some feelings I've been feeling since she's been born (not all are based around her.)

Complete. I feel so blessed to complete our little family with such a sweet little spirit.
Overwhelmed!! Danny has been working nights and sleeping during the day. I've had some rough days...
More in love with my little family!! I don't know if it's possible, but I feel so blessed to have a healthy beautiful family.
Sad... There have been some lonely days where I just sit here with my angry Jonathon, misbehaving Alex and Cam, and extremely spoiled newborn. It can get overwhelming to where I just don't know what to do. Thank goodness it's not an everyday thing.
As miserable as being pregnant is, I totally miss it!! I miss feeling and watching my belly move around. I miss a little game I played with myself called "name that body part".
It's completely weird, but putting away my maternity clothes made me a little sad. It usually does after I've had a baby.
I always get "baby blues" and after Cam was born I got ppd. It sucks...
The past couple days I've been wondering why I chose the repeat cesarean. I had two babies naturally, I could've done the VBAC. My dr was willing, but at the time I didn't want to. I was scared of being in another emergency situation. I probably would've been fine. Elyse probably would've been fine. I was happy with my decision to do the section up until about two days ago.. My belly is still tender and all I can think about is working out and getting skinny again. It was completely my decision, so I need to get over it.
I have a fear of my tubal not working (don't need to worry yet..). My dr told me that it was a 1 in 300 chance (if i remember correctly) of it not working. I told him that if it were to not work on somebody, it'd be me!! He told me that him and Martin take a little more tube out than necessary to make sure it's a little more successful. So I probably shouldn't worry so much about it. But I do.
I worry so much. Not just about Elyse, but all my newborns! I have a fear of them dying of SIDS! I wake up so many times during the night to make sure they're still alive! This is why my babies sleep in my room right next to my bed either in a swing or bassinet. Because I don't want to actually have to get up. I hate worrying so much, but I do!!
Elyse has dimples!! I'm a huge sucker for dimples... I love dimples :) Her left dimple is deeper than her right. Right now you can only see them when she cries, because her smiles are mostly gassy smiles right now. She does have a little smirk, though. She gets that from her aunt Noni :). I just love the dimples, haha!!
These are my completely random thoughts as of late. Not that exciting....

Life As Of Late

It's crazy how much life changes every time you bring a new baby home. The first baby is the easiest. You sleep when they do, you clean, get ready for the day, and eat when they sleep. With every kid you bring in to the home it gets harder and harder. When Elyse sleeps I take care of the other kids and by the time I'm done. she wakes up and wants to eat again. I've tried to keep up on everything, but i've failed. My house looks like a huge A-bomb went off. I look like I haven't slept in days (and I have) and my kids are always filthy! I bathe them and within minutes they are covered in dirt again! It's frustrating because I hate bath night! They fight with me the whole time, then when they're done, they're dirty again. It's always such a huge adjustment. Jonathon hated me for about two weeks and now he's past the hatred and onto the fit throwing and "fighting for attention". I try really hard to give all the kids the same amount of attention but right now, Elyse has been getting most of my attention. I feel so bad and have ended up in tears a couple times because I feel so bad. Newborns are helpless, they cant do anything for them selves, so it's easy to give them so much attention. Alex and Cam have had major attitudes lately. They've been really sneaky, getting into everything. They sneak stuff they know they aren't supposed to have into their room. Danny has been working nights the past couple weeks. He leaves about 3 p.m. and gets home about 5 a.m.. It has been so hard being here completely by myself with all four kids. I just can't get anything done! I love being home with the kids, but I need a vaca! Dr. Swainston, is my suite done yet? LOL!! Swainston told me that I was a mother that if he had the space, he'd build a mothers suite/spa in his office. Oh, wouldn't it be nice?? I'm really trying to cherish these times with my kids because they grow up so fast! The past six years with Alex went by so fast, it makes me sad. It hasn't slowed down with any of the kids. With Elyse being our last baby, I do admit that I have a hard time putting her down. I could sit and hold her all day, every day! She has become quite accustomed to this! She is so spoiled! She is a very good little baby. Quite the little princess :) Life will get easier once we all get into a routine, but not really having a routine has really just messed us all up! That's it for now. Hopefully I can just get my kids to bed on time, lol!