Thoughts...

With it being Christmas time, it just has me thinking a lot about all of my grandparents, but this post is just about this lovely lady, right here. This is my Grandma Markosek (a.k.a. Grandma Shack). I have her Nativity set up ontop of my entertainment center. Every time I look up at it, I think about her. I think about how she NEVER missed a birthday, or big event. She lived far away in Monticello, UT, but she'd call every birthday or holiday that  she wasn't here. When I was younger, she'd come down here to live for the winter because Monticello is COLD and our winters ROCK! But, as she got older, it got harder and harder for her to travel, so she eventually stopped. I remember most of my childhood Summers, up at her house. We'd go up a week after school got out and come home one or two weeks before school started up again. I even remember being up there for Christmas one year. I was three or four. I don't remember a whole lot, other than playing in the snow in her yard and slipping on ice. Over and over again..After she died (about 15 years ago), of course it was devistating. We knew it could come.She  had cancer, but none of us knew it was as bad as it was. So, we knew it could come, but at the same time, we thought we'd had more time. We didn't know she was that sick. We were going to go up to UT and spend one last Summer with her, but instead, we went up to clean out her house. To get it ready to sell, or for whomever might decide to move in (family). It was so sad to be at her house without her being there. All of her stuff where she'd left it. Her DNR hanging on the fridge. So, so sad. She was such an amazing Grandma! I miss her so much. She was so loving and compassionate. I remember the day they opened the Temple in Monticello. If you've ever seen it, it looks like a semi-big house. She was so excited she got called to be a Temple worker. She was the cutest lady! After she died, for years I'd have dreams. It'd always be my birthday, or Christmas. She'd call and I'd start sobbing. I could hear her voice so clear. I'd always say the same thing, "Grandma, how are you calling me?" and she'd always say the same thing. "I just wanted to take time out of my busy day and wish you a happy birthday. I love you and miss you, but I have to go now." And I'd just cry and cry and i'd wake up from a deep sleep sobbing, wondering if it was really just a dream. I miss her voice. I can still hear it in my head, even though she's been gone for so long. I can hear her whistle and sing, which she'd do when she'd cook or clean (she was the most amazing cook!). I always loved waking up to the sound of her whistling (and the smell of bacon!). Although, one Summer, we were up there. She made the same thing for breakfast every morning. Pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Lara and I got sick of eating the same thing, so one Sunday morning, while she was at church, we walked over to the store and bought cold cereal. We felt so bad because we completely offended her. She was so heart broken and didn't understand why we didn't just tell her that we wanted her to make us something else. She went the rest of the Summer without making us any breakfast. We felt terriible, and I still do.

Funny story, though. Grandma's house was haunted. I know a lot of people don't believe in that sort of stuff, but I do. Weird stuff happened all the time. You'd hear people walking around the house when you were home alone, you'd see stuff out of the corner of your eye. Just "normal" stuff. I don't know if it was him, but Grandpa Markosek had died in the house, like 20 something years before. He'd dropped dead of a heart attack in the master bedroom. Grandma never slept in there again after he died. She spent years sleeping on the living room couch. I'd known that Grandpa had died in the bedroom for as long as I can remember. For some reason, Nadja didn't know that. When she was up there for her funeral dad said "hey, how 'bout you sleep in grandma's room, and I'll sleep in the den." Lol. She'd wake up to hearing "somebody" walking around the room. She'd see shadows. She'd get really freaked out! She'd decided to tell dad about what was going on and he was like "Why do you think I offered that room to you? Grandpa died in there..." She called me at home and I laughed and laughed! I  couldn't believe she didn't know this! So funny! Anyhoo. I sure miss Grandma Shack. She was seriously such an example to me! I can't wait to get to see her again (someday in the far future...).

Halloween!! (Boo!!)

Uncle Bob came down for a short visit! My kids LOVE uncle Bob! Elyse just cuddled up on his lap..

Most of the kids making sure Bob  got a good workout!

Doodles was a knight! It took Danny all day to construct this of old tupper wear storage bins!

Alex was a death worrior! Isn't he so scary?!

 

Jonathon, the monkey! This costume has been around for a while!

Last, but not least, Elyse the lady bug! She did NOT wear her wings that took me most of the day to make... It's all good, tho! I had fun even though I burnt my finger really bad with a hot glue gun..

Anybody who knows me knows how much I love Halloween! A lot of people can't wait for Halloween to be over so the "Holiday Season" can start, but for me, it starts Oct. 1st! Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday. Christmas is a very close second, tho. This year Danny did not have to work, which was nice! It was the first year he didn't work in a long time!! We both worked most of the day on the kids' costumes. I blasted Halloween music, and even sang (probably badly and out of tune!). The kids watched Halloween movies like "Casper", "Hocus Pocus", "The Adams Family", "The Adams Family Values", you get the idea.. The kids are much like me when it comes to Halloween. They LOVE it! I fed the kids an early dinner, then I got in my costume (oye ve..) and off we went to score some candy!! This year, Danny picked me out my costume. Usually when I'm with him I let him know what is slutty or inappropriate. This year, my costume was both! I wore leggings and a long sleeved shirt underneath to cover up the sluttiness. The costume was so cute, but something I would never have chosen for me to wear. I did get some classic looks from people, tho! I was holding Elyse's candy bucket and you'd be surprised by the amounts of people who would NOT give me candy.. Whatevs.. I did get a little embarassed running into people I know. If I didn't say "hi" to you, I'm sorry. Danny is FIRED from choosing me costumes! 

We took the kids to three neighborhoods to fill up on candy. We got home around 9, 9:30 then sent the kids to bed. I always like watching scary movies on Halloween night. I like super scary ones! We usually watch "The Exorcist", but this year we watched "The Possession of Michael King". It was pretty creepy! 

Now, I'm ready for Thanksgiving!! I can't wait for some yummy food and some family time!

Horrible People..

Hi, my name is Andrea Bradford. I'm extremely shy, and for the most part, I keep to myself.. I've never been bullied as a child or teenager. Of course there were some people who didn't like me, some, the feelings were mutual. I'm sure some people said mean things behind my back, that's okay. I never let it get me down. I went to school for school. I didn't care about being popular, and popular, I was not. I'd rather be unnoticed than have everybody look my way. I had a couple really good friends, that I loved, and still love today. They are my family.
Last Friday, I did what I do every weekday. I get up, get lunches made, wake the boys up, make breakfast, get everybody ready for the day, and walk the boys to the bus stop. I always take the little ones in my double stroller. It is old and heavy, but my double jogger does not hold air in the tires. I walked all four kids to the bus stop and talked to one of the neighbors who has two little ones. One of which rides the bus with my kids. When the kids left, I too, left. I grabbed the stroller and pushed it onto the road, because it is so much easier than trying to push it thru sand and gravel. I get home and start to get myself ready for the day. I hear somebody knock and Jonathon opens the door. I run out to see who it is, and it's one of my neighbors. This lady must start drinking right when she wakes up, but that's beside the point. She see's me and asks if she can 'talk to my dad' I probably look at her like she's an idiot. I just said, "um, he's not here?". She then says, "I just need to talk to an adult." I again, give her a "you idiot" look and said "I am the adult in the house...". She then took it upon herself to tell me how horrible I am. This lady was NOT nice! I was in tears. She kept telling me that my personality sucked, and I needed to change it. She told me how nice my husband was to her and I was a bitch. I just stood there and cried. I honestly didn't know what to say or do. I just stood there and cried. The crap she said was so brutal. This was somebody who didn't even know my name. She just knows we're neighbors, so we should be BFF's.  She stood on my porch for 20 min. telling me how bad I was and that "she'd had it up to here" with me, and that I really needed to change my personality because "You know how you are..". This lady TOTALLY crushed me! I cried for two hours after she left. So, for those who think you know somebody (or me) you don't. You don't know me unless you really know me. There are only a few people who really do know me. I don't let my guard down unless I really feel comfortable with somebody, and that can take a while. All I know, is I've never been a confident person, but now... I feel so horribly about me. I just can't shake it.

Elyse (a.k.a.Pookie Bear)

Elyse just started crawling on all fours about three weeks ago. I know it's way late! She was 17 months old. It's so crazy to me that she was this old... I really thought she'd just skip the whole crawling stage all together, but she didn't. She just did it a lot later than "normal". She also pulled herself up to standing all on her own today! I was pretty excited! I know she's a completely healthy baby. She was born three weeks early, which is full term. She was born early because the placenta that was supposed to be delivering food and oxygen to her, had died. If left in my belly to cook much longer than she was, she too, would've died. I have no idea if the condition of the placenta has anything to do with her setbacks, but, it'd make sense to me if it did. The things she can do, tho is pretty amazing! She has a pretty extensive vocabulary for only being 18 months old. No, she isn't talking in sentences, but she learns a new word every other day. She tries to mimic EVERYTHING I say. Even sentences. She'll say one of the words I say then a bunch of jibber jabber. Here are some of the words she says- doggy "goggy" she knows the doggy says "arf arf" and she says "arf arf". She says- go, no, blankie (gankie), meow (we don't have any cats because Alex is allergic, but we have friends with cats), nigh nigh, num num, girl, pretty, tickle, momma, dadda, ball (baow), PEEWHEW!,
Yay!!, poo, yeah, hello, hi, shoe (soo), Bye bye. These are just the words I can think of. She can pick out one word out of every sentence I say and repeat it. (It's a good thing I don't swear!). Obviously she can self feed. (she's been able to for a long time..). She can grab with her index finger and thumb (again something she's been doing for a while..). She into EVERYTHING! If she can get to it, she will! She adores her older brothers! She follows them EVERYWHERE!! Alex is the only one annoyed by this! Cam is pretty patient with her, and Jonny? He just adores her back! Not to say that Alex and Cam don't adore her, but they're older and they get annoyed. She is still a huge momma's girl! Daddy is also one of her favorites, and her cousins! She loves her cousins! The older ones carry her everywhere she wants to go, so she's quite spoiled! The younger cousins make a huge fuss over her, which she LOVES! Poor child is starving for attention, haha. Okay, so she's not. But, you'd think she was..There is not a day that goes by that I don't thank Heavenly Father for her (and all my boys). I truly am blessed. :)

I know, I know I've already posted about Robin Williams, but seriously, I've never been so affected by a celebrities death before. Not to say that I usually don't care, because that's not true, but I've never been so sad to see somebody I have never met pass away. Usually I'm just like, "oh that's sad." and move on. I did cry when George Harrison died, tho!
Robin Williams was just.... Such a good guy! I've been watching his movies my whole life! I kinda feel like my grandpa, or father just died. I guess it's a bit silly.. He really was one kind. I know I'm going to miss his work. I've been sharing his greatness with my kids. They LOVE "Hook!" ,  They love to run around the house yelling "Rufio, Rufio, Rufiooooooooooooooo!!!" So funny.. They also love "Aladin",  but who wouldn't?? I have been so sad, and seeing all the tributes all over Facebook and Twitter, they just make me sad all over again. I've read them all!! So sad...

Robin Williams

Yesterday was a sad, sad day... Actor Robin Wlliams passed away. The saddest part?- he committed suicide. You would've  never think of him as a depressed person. He was a comedian! Most of his movies were fun and uplifting. He did so much good for our troops overseas. My favorite movies of his were/are- "Flubber", "Hook", "Jumanji", "What Dreams May Come","Night at the Museum"  and "Mrs. Doubtfire". I'm sure there are more that I've loved, I just can't think of them. It makes me so sad to think that he was so sad. I see posts from people like "it wasn't depression that killed him, he killed himself". I guess if you look at it literally, he did, but I also think that's a very insensitive way of putting it.  I know not everybody goes thru derpession, so they can't understand what somebody who is depressed is feeling. After Cam was born I went thru post partum depression. I never wanted to harm myself of my children, but I remember laying in bed wondering "if I died tonight would anybody other than my newborn and two year old notice?". It's completely unfair to Danny that I had such thoughts, but I did. Often... I didn't feel anything but sadness. Something that was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life, and I was sad. I can't imagine how Mr. Williams must have felt. Feeling like his life wasn't worth anything. Feeling like nobody would care, or nobody would miss him. Depression is debilitating. It makes you feel worthless. It makes you think you're useless. It makes you feel unimportant. One thing that I hear people say is, "why dodn't you just get happy? Why don't you just make yourself happy?" Do you really think it is that easy??!! Depression is a medical condition. It's not like a cold that just goes away on its own. With that being said, Robin, you made the world a better place. We're short one less incredible man. May you rest in peace and feel Gods arms around you.

 

The Fourth of July

This year was the first in two years that Danny didn't have to work. He worked the night of the third, so he slept most of the day. We were invited to my cousins house, but we didn't make it. I wasn't going to brave all four of my kids in a big pool alone, where they could drown! We also got invited to some friends house for a BBQ and some swimming. Danny and I decided it would be fun and the kids would love it! They did love it, mostly.. Cam was sure he was going to drown! We had fun! We came home so Elyse could take a little nap before we headed to the fair grounds. At about 8:30 we headed to the fair grounds to see the fireworks. I was worried about Jonny and Elyse being cranky (because it was past their bed times) and afraid of the fireworks. They were niether! They were so happy, and good, and they loved the fireworks! I put Elyse to bed as soon as we got home. We took the boys outside to light the fireworks Danny had bought from the Indian Reservation. The sparklers didn't last as long as we remembered them lasting when we were little. The big fireworks were pretty cool, though! Danny didn't realize they were the ones that shot up into the air! There was a small incedent where the firework pack tiped over. We started a tiny fire in our weeds (Ooops!) We had our hose ready for any reason we may have needed it, and we did! We put the fire out and shot off the rest of the fireworks, then we sent the boys to bed. In Alex's words, that night "was EPIC!" Danny and I stayed up until 2:30 in the morning, talking and watching "Supernatural". I love our 1:00 a.m. coversations! They are my favorite :). We are both usually really tired and goofy. I especially get super silly when I'm tired. Danny likes to laugh at my craziness. It is when I have my best thoughts, after all! I love any holiday that we actually get to spend together! When Danny has to work, it kind of puts a damper on things, but, I am very greatful for all that he does! He works his tail off, so we can have food in our bellies, a roof over our heads, running cars, and the clothes on our backs! I really can't complain too much. Life is good..