Why Do I Get Myself Worked Up So Much?

Today we went to the specialist. I've been dreading this day since we left the hospital! I went in thinking the very worst! I relived our hospital experience and wanted to cry! I thought they would start poking Elyse with needles, prodding her and just doing all these horrible things, that they need to do, as doctors, but horrible for everybody involved. I made my very sleep deprived husband go with me, because I had to do the hospital thing by myself. No way I was doing it again, by my self. I also feared i wouldn't like her doctor. I'm picky about doctors. I've switched pediatricians three times, and OBGYN's once. I don't go to the doctor until I feel like I might die! I think doctors should all be people persons and pediatricians SHOULD be kid and baby people! That's just the way it's supposed to be!! Back to the specialist.... I really liked him! He talked to us like we were people, not stupid people, just people. He further explained the diagnosis. He told us they'd do an ultra sound in three months and the dye (can't remember the technical name for this) when she's one year old. She has to stay on antibiotics until she's one. They'll up her dosage with growth, then hopefully in a year, everything will be all good! No more reflux is what I'm hoping for!!

Here is Elyse being born. The cool thing about a c-section is you can take a pic of it!! I remember when I was in labor with Cam, it was only Danny and I in the hospital and my nurse was taking the pics and asked if I wanted any of him coming out. "No!" is basically what I said. Could you imagine that picture? YUCK! I didn't want to scar anybody for life, lol! C-sections, unless an open belly bothers you, it's kind of cool.  

Below is Jonny and Elsye. When she's on the floor playing he's not ever very far away. He loves her so much! He cant wait until she is big enough to play with him!

One Scary Day

Last week Elyse came down with a mysterious fever. All of the boys had had the same thing happen. They ran a fever for a short amount of time, then it went away and they got better within a day. When the same thing happened to Elyse I thought it was just the bug the boys had all had. Her fever would come and go and did this for three days when I decided to call her doctor. Her fever was never really high, but I just wanted to check things out because she is so young.  We go into the dr the next day, on Friday. I had the a/c on in the back of my car, so there was no explanation other than fever as to why she was so warm. I took her out of her car seat to go up to the office because she's getting heavy in that thing!! She felt extremely warm to the touch and her face was red.  She hadn't been crying or anything, she was asleep. We get called back by the nurse and she weighs Elyse, and she was 9 lbs 9 oz. She took her temp and it was 104!!! Her Dr. was standing right there and said you need to get her to Summerlin Hospital immediately!! We went into the examining room, and I was crying my eyes out! Dr. Mendoza checked her out quickly to see if it was her ears or throat causing the fever, but they were fine. We left as he called the hospital to let us know we were on our way. I called my family to let them know that Elyse was sick and we were on our way to the hospital. I cried the whole drive, sometimes having difficulty seeing through my tears!! We get to the hospital and were taken back to the pediatric E.R. immediately where they started testing as soon as we got in. They gave her a big dose of tylenol, drew her blood, started an I.V., put a catheder in and got some urine (it was cloudy), then, worst of all, they did a spinal tap! They did a quick urine test and determined that it was a UTI and informed me that she had to be on IV antibiotics for seven days. SEVEN DAYS in the hospital!! They started antibiotics and she was admitted. I cried so hard that day!! Her uncle Chris and uncle Nathan gave her a wonderful blessing that I cried through. I cried so much that my head throbbed! We spent the next seven days in the pediatric unit. Our first night, Elyse didn't sleep a wink and she pulled out her first IV. They replaced her IV and she slept for an hour, in bed with me... I hate sleeping with infants! I was so scared I was going to smother her... Our time there was pretty uneventful. Just IV antibiotics, a lot of napping, and sitting around. I did go to target on our third day. I had one pair of jeans that Elyse had pooped on. I was gone an hour...  On the day we were getting released the pediatrician came in and said they were going to inject dye into her bladder to see if they were backing into her kidneys because an earlier ultrasound showed that her kidneys were swollen. We got wheeled down to radiology where they did the test. It came back that her bladder was backing up into her kidneys. On a scale of 1-4 of severity she was at a 2. So, she is on antibiotics, once a day to prevent infections. We have to go see a kidney specialist. Should be fun.... My hopes are that it will just correct itself with time, but if not, we're looking at surgery. Thank heavens we know what's going on and can be proactive. It breaks my heart to have my eight week old go through this crap, but luckily, she wont

remember any of it.

A Post All About Me!!!

It's all in the title. This post is all about me. Likes and dislikes. Hopes and dreams exedra exedra.... Where should I start?? How about dislikes, in no particular order, of course!!
How do I put this gently without sounding like a horrible person? I don't really like children! I know that's weird coming from somebody who has four of her own, but I just don't. I love my children including nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends children, but I often find myself wanting to smack other people's children. Maybe if these children's parents would occasionally spank their children, I wouldn't want to... My children are far from perfect (and yes I do believe in the occasional spanking), but these big attitudes get to me!! I hope I can teach my kids to be respectful, but to be honest, somedays they are anything but! I give permission to anybody to smack my kid if they are rude or disrespectful. Sometimes I wish Alex or any child still got spanked at school. Children were so much better behaved when there were sore tushies at steak! No, I don't believe in beating a child. There is a huge difference, so get off your high horse! I just believe in discipline, that's all.
I hate my neighbors! I see the cops over there way to often! They scream at each other outside and use very foul language, language that I don't want my children to pick up on. To be honest, i'd like to see them all carried away in handcuffs!!
I don't love our house. As a matter of fact, I don't really like it. We've fixed it up so it's nice enough. But, it is what it is.. So not our dream house, but it is a roof over our heads!
I hate cooking! I do it because I feel it's my duty as a wife and mother. I'm not that good at it, but the fam will eat it, so that's all that matters.
I swear I'm not a horrible person... Oh, one more dislike.. I hate my body!! I need to magically tighten my deflated belly and boobies! Cellulite, stretch marks, wrinkles, dimples, bumps.....Bla!! I'd change my smile, too, if I could...
Time for some redemption!
I love my family. I think I got pretty lucky in the whole family department. Yes we all drive each other crazy at times, but we go together well!!
I like to clean, even though you'd never tell by walking into my house! My kids have my house destroyed so fast, you'd think that I never ever cleaned. But, I do. I do everyday! It frustrates me that it doesn't stay that way more than five minutes, tops (think I'm kidding?). These days I'd rather snuggle Elyse than clean, though... I can't seam to put her down! I love cuddling with my newborns, because you blink and it's gone! They aren't newborns very long..
I love babies. Even strangers babies. They are all so sweet and innocent. No I don't go around stealing babies, though. I admire them from afar.
I LOVE, LOVE junk food!!! My ideal meal would consist of ice cream and chocolate bars. Probably why I hate my body so much, haha!
I love the smell of clean laundry, though I don't like washing it.
My hopes for my children is that they would grow up to be outstanding young adults/adults. I hope they grow up to be obedient, respectful, kind, loving, and amazing people. Let's hope we as parents don't screw them up!! I take parenting very seriously. Most days my children might drive me to drink, and then bedtime comes. Everyday we start fresh. Everything from the day before is in the past and we get through everyday, one day at a time. Being a stay at home mom is a hard job. Being a parent is hard. I try. That's all I can do. My children are not easy going, calm, or laid back. They are strong willed, stubborn, and have tempers. They can be exhausting. But, they are awesome!! With that being said.. Alex will be home soon, so I have to go outside to wait for his bus. Until next time :)

Due Date

Today is my due date with little miss. She will be three weeks old tomorrow!! I don't really know why, but it's just crazy to me! I had a scheduled c-section for last monday, the 25th.
i'm just so very thankful that she is here and healthy! She has been growing like crazy since she's been born!! She weighed 5lbs 2oz at birth. She only lost a couple oz before we left the hospital. At eight days old she weighed 5lbs 9oz.At 15 days old she weighed 6lbs 8oz, which was Cam's birth weight. It's amazing to me... She just had to be born so she could grow!! I'm guessing she's 7-7 1/2 lbs now. The girl can eat!!!
Some feelings I've been feeling since she's been born (not all are based around her.)

Complete. I feel so blessed to complete our little family with such a sweet little spirit.
Overwhelmed!! Danny has been working nights and sleeping during the day. I've had some rough days...
More in love with my little family!! I don't know if it's possible, but I feel so blessed to have a healthy beautiful family.
Sad... There have been some lonely days where I just sit here with my angry Jonathon, misbehaving Alex and Cam, and extremely spoiled newborn. It can get overwhelming to where I just don't know what to do. Thank goodness it's not an everyday thing.
As miserable as being pregnant is, I totally miss it!! I miss feeling and watching my belly move around. I miss a little game I played with myself called "name that body part".
It's completely weird, but putting away my maternity clothes made me a little sad. It usually does after I've had a baby.
I always get "baby blues" and after Cam was born I got ppd. It sucks...
The past couple days I've been wondering why I chose the repeat cesarean. I had two babies naturally, I could've done the VBAC. My dr was willing, but at the time I didn't want to. I was scared of being in another emergency situation. I probably would've been fine. Elyse probably would've been fine. I was happy with my decision to do the section up until about two days ago.. My belly is still tender and all I can think about is working out and getting skinny again. It was completely my decision, so I need to get over it.
I have a fear of my tubal not working (don't need to worry yet..). My dr told me that it was a 1 in 300 chance (if i remember correctly) of it not working. I told him that if it were to not work on somebody, it'd be me!! He told me that him and Martin take a little more tube out than necessary to make sure it's a little more successful. So I probably shouldn't worry so much about it. But I do.
I worry so much. Not just about Elyse, but all my newborns! I have a fear of them dying of SIDS! I wake up so many times during the night to make sure they're still alive! This is why my babies sleep in my room right next to my bed either in a swing or bassinet. Because I don't want to actually have to get up. I hate worrying so much, but I do!!
Elyse has dimples!! I'm a huge sucker for dimples... I love dimples :) Her left dimple is deeper than her right. Right now you can only see them when she cries, because her smiles are mostly gassy smiles right now. She does have a little smirk, though. She gets that from her aunt Noni :). I just love the dimples, haha!!
These are my completely random thoughts as of late. Not that exciting....

Life As Of Late

It's crazy how much life changes every time you bring a new baby home. The first baby is the easiest. You sleep when they do, you clean, get ready for the day, and eat when they sleep. With every kid you bring in to the home it gets harder and harder. When Elyse sleeps I take care of the other kids and by the time I'm done. she wakes up and wants to eat again. I've tried to keep up on everything, but i've failed. My house looks like a huge A-bomb went off. I look like I haven't slept in days (and I have) and my kids are always filthy! I bathe them and within minutes they are covered in dirt again! It's frustrating because I hate bath night! They fight with me the whole time, then when they're done, they're dirty again. It's always such a huge adjustment. Jonathon hated me for about two weeks and now he's past the hatred and onto the fit throwing and "fighting for attention". I try really hard to give all the kids the same amount of attention but right now, Elyse has been getting most of my attention. I feel so bad and have ended up in tears a couple times because I feel so bad. Newborns are helpless, they cant do anything for them selves, so it's easy to give them so much attention. Alex and Cam have had major attitudes lately. They've been really sneaky, getting into everything. They sneak stuff they know they aren't supposed to have into their room. Danny has been working nights the past couple weeks. He leaves about 3 p.m. and gets home about 5 a.m.. It has been so hard being here completely by myself with all four kids. I just can't get anything done! I love being home with the kids, but I need a vaca! Dr. Swainston, is my suite done yet? LOL!! Swainston told me that I was a mother that if he had the space, he'd build a mothers suite/spa in his office. Oh, wouldn't it be nice?? I'm really trying to cherish these times with my kids because they grow up so fast! The past six years with Alex went by so fast, it makes me sad. It hasn't slowed down with any of the kids. With Elyse being our last baby, I do admit that I have a hard time putting her down. I could sit and hold her all day, every day! She has become quite accustomed to this! She is so spoiled! She is a very good little baby. Quite the little princess :) Life will get easier once we all get into a routine, but not really having a routine has really just messed us all up! That's it for now. Hopefully I can just get my kids to bed on time, lol!

Elyse Afton Bradford

Dr. Swainston, you're my hero...

Okay, so last Monday I went into the dr just for my regular check up. When Swainston measured my belly it only measured at 30 week and I was 37 weeks. Swainston calmly panicked a little and did a quick ultrasound. The baby looked small but was moving around really well and my amniotic fluids were okay. He stated that he was really worried about her growth and that I needed to come in later in the week for an ultrasound with the technician. So I did a non stress test and the baby looked fabulous then I made my appointment for my u/s on Wed the 13. Wednesday came along and I went into the dr's office for my u/s. She measuered the baby who measured a little over five lbs and small for gestational age. My amniotic fluid was at a 6 and was supposed to be at a 10. The u/s tech talked to the nurse practioner about my fluids being low and they decided to do another NST.  It had been a while since I'd eaten (like three hrs) so the baby didn't move enough. They gave me juice and the baby woke up and did her moving around. When I was getting off the monitor Dr. Reynolds (another dr in the office) went over my u/s resultts. When she saw my fluid was at a six she told me to stick around because she was going to call Dr. Swainston and that he'll probably wanna move up my c-section date. So I waited for about 20 min and she told me to leave and call in a couple hrs if I hadn't heard back from them. Swainston is in the O.R. all day on Wednesdays. That's his "opperating day". So, I drive home start "getting ready" then I called Swainston's office thinking they'd tell me I had to deliver the baby sooner, but I didn't think that they'd tell me that He wanted to deliver me that night!! So, I had to find somebody to watch the kids, we waited until Alex got home from school, dropped them off at Grandma and Grandpa Bradford's house then we headed to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital about 5:30 and waited in the E.R. for 45 min before the nurse took me up to L.D. I got there filled out paperwork got in my fancy gown and socks and at about 7 a nurse came in and said Dr. Martin and Dr. Swainston were already there and wanted to do my section at 7:30. I barely got checked in before they wheeled me back to the OR. I was so nervous,  but Swainston and Martin are hillarious!! They made me feel at ease. They were singing and dancing, talking about who was more ghetto and what Swainston was going to name the placenta (Skyler). LOL They kept my mind off of what was going on. Swainston was playing with my stomach muscles (after they sliced into them.) He asked me what I was doing with my muscles. IDK, it was funny at the time because I was totally confused! As soon as they pulled Elyse out she started crying! I was so happy! Then when Swainston held her up for me to see i started crying. I'd never seen such a little baby and she was so tiny and beautiful! I just couldn't help but cry! They got her weighed and wrapped up. She was 5 pounds 2 ounces and 17 1/2 inches long. They let Danny hold her and bring her over by my head so I could see her. At first site she looked like all three of our boys wrapped into one!! She was so tiny and perfect! I got to stare at her and Danny for a few min and then they left to go into my L.D. room and then I got my tubes tied and got all glued and stitched together. When they were done I got wheeled back to my room and Elyse was laying under the warming lights just crying!! She was starving and I couldn't do anything about it! I wanted to pick her up and feed her! Then I had an awkward moment with the baby nurse.... She brounght the baby over, unbuttoned my gown, grabbed my nipple and shoved it into Elyse's mouth.. She didnt ask if I was breast feeding, she just did it, lol! It was awkward.. Elyse was starving and never latched on and she just cried harder and harder with every attemp to to her latched. I finally just said, she's starving and frustrated. GIVE ME A BOTTLE! I told her I didn't care how the baby was fed, it just needed to be done. My nurse then told me that she prefered she were nursed. I just looked at her like "really?" She did give me a bottle... I fed Elyse and she was happy! We went into recovery and there were no more awkward moments! I layed in bed for two days... Fun! When Dr. Swainston discharged me from the hospital he told me that Elyse would've died if he would've left her "on the vine" for very much longer. I almost started crying. It made me so sad to think about it but so happy that she was here and completely safe and healthy. He's literally saved the lives of my last two children and for that i'm so, so thankful!! I'm just happy to be done having kids!! Every pregnancy just gets harder and harder with more and more complications! We're so thankful for mommy's good Dr and healthy babies! I just don't think that I can emotionally deal with any more hard pregnancies! I'm thankful for the kids I have and my ability to easily get pregnant,  but I'm done. 

(p.s. if this doesn't make sense, sorry. I'm on pain killers :))

Baby Day

I went to the dr on Monday. I have decided to do a repeat c-section. I've never gone into labor on my own and being induced for a VBAC sounded way too scary and risky. I have a few complications. One being gestational diabetes. It's only a big deal if not dealt with. I've been rocking it and blood sugars have been completely normal. I also have thrombophelia. It is a blood clotting disorder that makes your blood clot faster than it should, which obviously could be dangerous. One more minor disorder is I am rh negative and Danny is rh positive. I have to get rogham shots at 32 weeks of pregnancy and then again at the birth (since all my babies have taken after their daddy and have positive blood type. It's not a major complication, but it can be. The baby having a different blood type, your body can make antibodies against the baby which can cause miscarriage in early pregnancy or, worse case scenario death to the baby, but I think that's pretty rare. That's why they do bloodwork on patients and their husbands if they don't know their blood type. With that being said. I have set my section date! This baby is coming the 25th of March! I am excited and so ready to be done being pregnant FOREVER!! Pregnancy is so not glamorous. It's uncomfortable, and mostly not so much fun. There are things I will miss. I love watching and feeling the baby moving around, but that's about where it ends. I am getting anxious now that I see an end. It has gone by pretty fast and now I question my ability to raise four children it's a little late to think about these things now, but, oh well. Anyway!! We can't wait for little baby girl to get here!