Disconnected??

Lately i've been having a hard time, being somewhat of a "single mom", stressing out about putting food on the table. Last month for the first time I had to choose to either pay all the utlilities and buy groceries, or pay the mortgage. Of course I chose the utilities/food over mortgage. (did pay mortgage too, but was late) I feel so disconnected from myslef and everyone around me. It's a very strang feeling! It feels like I'm watching my life go by through somebody elses eyes. Kind of like I'm a zombie, I guess? Every day is the same, I wake up feed the kids, get them dressed, I usually dont get breakfast because by the time I get everybody else taken care of, it's almost lunch time. I play with the kids, feed them both lunch put them down for a nap, lay down for a half hour or so then either Alex escapes from his room, or Cam wakes up. So, i get up and play some more and try to clean up the house. Play with kids til dinner time, give them both baths and get ready for bed, put them to bed then I'm so tired but have so much to do but too tired to care. Every day is the same thing, I'm just so exhausted!! I so need a spa day!!! Get pampered, have no worries for a couple hours. If only we could afford that.... Oh well!!